Search Books:

Join our mailing list:

Bookmark and Share

New Articles

The Mystery Murder Case of the Century
by Robert Tanenbaum

Which Brass Ring for You: Popularity or Success?
by JV Venable

Autistic Students: Are We Asking Them to Do Their Best While They Feel Their Worst?
by Janet Lintala

The Enemy Within
by Jason Riley

by Anna Godbersen

view more>>

Recent Placements

Henry Mintzberg
This Management Legend Just Dropped Some Surprising but Brilliant Advice: Quit Doing Just 1 Thing and You'll Be a Much Better Leader

Bart McDonough
Value Walk
The Reality Of Real Estate Wire Transfer Fraud: Overview Of Cyber Risks

Oren Jay Sofer
Spirituality & Health
5 Core Practices for More Meaningful Conversations

Renee Linnell
Daily Beast
How a Tango Dancer Spent Five Years in an Abusive ‘Energy’ Cult

Steven Ujifusa
U.S. Naval Institute
Behold the Clipper Ships!

view more>>

Bookmark and Share

View the author's page

The following is an excerpt from the book Rules for Renegades
by Christine Comaford-Lynch
Published by Published by McGraw Hill; $24.95US/$30.95CAN; 978-0-07-148975-1
Copyright © 2007 Christine Comaford-Lynch

How to Throw a Rejection Party

It's one thing for me to tell you not to take rejection personally; it's another to pull it off. The key is to desensitize. Playwright Jean Kerr, author of Please Don't Eat the Daisies, used to clip out the most cutting words from newspaper critics' reviews of her plays and paste them onto her bathroom mirror. After looking at them day after day while brushing her teeth, she eventually stopped feeling offended by them. If this method works for you, terrific. My preferred method of desensitization is to throw a Rejection Party.

The Rejection Party: Type A

Gather ten or more people together (more is better). They can be colleagues, friends, members of a networking or mastermind group, or even strangers with a desire to learn.

Here are the rules:
  1. Each person in the group forms a question for something they want, such as "Will you invest $100,000 in my new company?" or "Will you buy my widget?"
  2. Now walk around the room, approaching the other participants one-on-one and asking them your question. They'll give you a "yes" or "no" answer, and will ask you their question too. You must give a "yes" or "no" answer. See step 3 for the rules on answering.
  3. Keep a silent tally of the number of requests made of you. You can only answer "yes" if the person addressing you is making the tenth request. Say "no" to all others. Once you've said "yes," start counting again and say "no" to the next nine requests. You can say "no" however you want -- apologetically, curtly, kindly -- it's up to you. The goal is to simulate real-world rejection in order to become immune to it.
After repeatedly getting rejected, you'll find it doesn't hurt so badly. You come to realize that each rejection gets you closer to acceptance. Remember the Rock Rejection Mantra:

Some will.

Some won't.

So what?

Someone's waiting.

Keep asking and eventually you'll get a "yes."

Thanks to Jack Canfield for teaching me this technique.

The Rejection Party: Type B

As much as I like Rejection Party Type A, I extended it to this new version, which I find mirrors the world more realistically. The requester must as for the same thing, but can change his or her pitch, trying different approaches. For instance, the requester could say "Will you invest $100,000 in my new marketing company?" and the next time he or she could say, "Will you loan $100,000 to my new marketing company at 6 percent interest and a 10-year payback period?" The requestee is allowed to say "yes" if he or she finds the request compelling enough. He or she doesn't actually have to follow through (that is, fork over that $100,000) but must honestly be intrigued by the request.

Copyright © 2007 Christine Comaford-Lynch